Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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