Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
