he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
