she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
