hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
