why didn't you poke me back
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
