You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
