oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
