i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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