how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
