Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
