Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
