Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
