The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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