This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
