what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
