you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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