There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
