so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
