North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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