the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
