the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I looked at my own cervix.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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