drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
