what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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