I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
