Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
