Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
