It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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