We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
