Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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