My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
