i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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