when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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