Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
