I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
