my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
