Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
