I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
