Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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