I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
