Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
