You work out of a Hotel?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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