You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you traded sex for a burrito?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Blood and glitter go together right?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
