I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
