my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
