I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
