would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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