It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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