He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
