i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
